i found that motivation i was looking for

so, yesterday was pretty rough. i found myself begging for motivation and energy to overcome my crazy anger and not let a certain someone control my mood so much. (side note: am i the only one who has such a hard time not letting a person control my thoughts and feelings? why is that so hard?) well, to deal with my anger my plan was to head to the gym for a kickboxing class and pretend like i was punching and kicking that someone in the face. even though i forgot to picture her face, i actually found myself having a pretty good time in the midst of all my sweat. i was pushing myself a little harder than i usually do and surprisingly making it through without collapsing.

and then came the motivation. right as i was thinking i needed a break b/c surely this was too much for my body handle, i look to my right and see the lady with cancer and going through chemo kicking this class's butt. I don't mean just going through the motions and keeping up with the class. I mean really kicking butt.

at that point i quit making excuses. no matter how hard my day had been, no matter how sweaty and tired i was, i didn't have to worry about a horrible disease trying to destroy my life. if this lady, who sometimes probably feels like the world is against her, can fight with a positive attitude, why can't I? i've seen how difficult the chemo treatments can be. i've seen people who sometimes just want to give up. and i've seen those same people keep pushing, keep fighting, keep praying and keep having faith.

God has a funny way of putting things in perspective right when we feel like we can't take anymore.

To the lady in the gym class-- thanks for keeping us all going. thanks for making us more grateful for what we have and here's to kicking cancer's butt like you kick butt in class! :)

un-addicting myself to chocolate

today i'm needing some motivation. or inspiration. or determination. or maybe just about any other kind of
-ation you can throw my way. it's been a rough day. and when i say rough, i mean trying not to cry my eyeballs out every single second that passes by. but not because i'm sad. because i'm p*ssed. i'm mad as h*ll and can't do anything about it--which only makes me madder. (yes, i know madder isn't a word, but when you're this mad, you have the right to use whatever kind of made-up words you feel like) last time i felt like this was when i was about to leave my last job. i would get so worked up about work, that it literally drove me to tears and near panic attacks. this time though, i'm just at the tears. i think i've realized that the panic attacks only made things worse, but with the tears came some small sense of relief.

but instead of crying (or maybe downing a bottle of wine), tonight i'm turning to kickboxing- with a certain someone's face in mind with each and every single punch, kick and scream. i'm just proud i haven't turned to chocolate. that would definitely be my usual response. but if i turn to chocolate, the other person wins. if i let them (her) make me eat my anger in pounds of chocolate, she will also make me undo all of the hard work i've done so far. she may control a certain 8 hours of my life each day, but she will not control my "me" time at the gym and away from junk food.

ok, that was determination right? why, yes I think it was. score one for me.

complaining

Have I mentioned I'm trying not to complain?
Well, I am.
But today got the best of me. And it's only lunch.

Here's a reminder to myself...

i'm thankful i have a job i'm thankful i have a job i'm thankful i have a job i'm thankful i have a job i'm thankful i have a job i'm thankful i have a job i'm thankful i have a job i'm thankful i have a job

no good very bad day

I’m very much having a case of the Mondays today. Today is definitely NOT what I needed after such a beautiful weekend. Speaking of the weekend, it was wonderful. Fantastic dinner at Mikata with amazing company. Beautiful Saturday at the beach shopping, complete with ice cream from Cold Stone and finding shoes on sale. Saturday night eating Mexican, seeing old friends, hanging out with some of the cutest kids and most fun families. Eating a delicious home-cooked meal with Mom Sunday afternoon followed by a productive afternoon with the BF.

Then it starts.

For some reason, someone told me that I needed to watch The Stepfather because it was such a good movie. They said it was suspenseful-- not scary and not gory (I don’t do the blood and guts. I have no desire to see anyone’s insides… yuck). I’m still not exactly sure why this person told me it wasn’t scary. What I am sure of is that I barely slept last night and kept dreaming that someone was chasing me or trying to break in my house. Not a good start to my week.

...and here comes Monday.

Not only did I dream that someone was trying to get me, but I also dreamed that I overslept for work, woke up at 9:15 (I have to be at work at 8), and my roof was leaking and basically pouring rain in my bathroom. Granted, it was storming this morning, but thank goodness the roof is fine.

My main question of the day is… WHEN IN THE WORLD DID I BECOME A SECRETARY AT WORK??? Not bashing secretaries/assistants by any means b/c they do a lot of work… but when I was hired, the words secretary or assistant was NEVER mentioned in my job description or interview.

Here’s what I’ve been asked to do today:

1. Order new name tags for my boss and 2 others 
2. Have a door prize ready for an event by Friday (consisting of the daunting task of pulling a blanket out of a box… whoa… I know… Good thing I’ve been working out.) 
3. Email someone about a copy of a paper 
4. Make copies for a co-workers presentation
5. Email another co-worker a file that she already has
6. Read about 100 stupid blogs that’s sent to me everyday

… and this is all on top of creating our employee newsletter, writing new radio ads, writing new press releases, getting ready for a trade show on Wednesday, writing new class material for financial classes, editing videos, and I can even remember what else. And ALL this has to be done today. Not to mention I’ve already taken on IT’s role and have been fixing computer issues this morning.

So you tell me… why can’t anyone else do this?? Especially Mrs. Big Fancy Boss Lady herself? You got me.

Like I said… I have severe case of the Mondays. Bring on Tuesday.

Five Question Friday... on Sunday

Just for fun... :) Happy Valentine's Day!



1. What is the one thing your love does for you that you can't live without?
He does a lot for me, whether he knows it or not. So, for the sake of being specific, I'll name a top 3 instead of saying everything...

1. 1. He keeps me sane. Seriously. He keeps me very grounded. I have extreme tendencies to get really worked up, stressed, worried, etc. He calls me on it and brings me back to reality. Without him, I'd probably be on all kinds of anxiety meds.
2. 2. He takes care of me... he may not wait on me hand and foot all the time (which would probably make me very lazy), but he makes sure I do the things I always forget about. Like changing my oil. Getting new tires. Spraying for bugs in my house. Changing my air filters. Little things like that makes me know he's taking care of me in his own expert way. He knows I know nothing about cars & houses & sometimes life, so he always looks out for me.
3. 3. As corny as it sounds, he really makes me want to continue to grow and be a better person. Kinder, healthier, more trusting, all of those things we work for everyday. Most of all, he makes me want to continue to grow spiritually, and that's huge.

 2. When did you know your love was "the one"?

 On our first date. I knew from day 1 that he was the one I wanted to be with. Our first date was a lunch date and we went to Longhorn's on a Sunday afternoon. I remember what he wore, what I wore, what the weather was like, how nervous I was before we left, how excited I was when I got home and how much fun I had while we were there. I could tell from our conversations that he was what I'd be waiting on for a long, long time.  

3. Does your love have a special ringtone on your cell?

 Nope. But only because I have a cheap, simple phone that doesn't do that stuff.... i think.  

(sorry, i have no idea how to rotate this, but i love the pic)

4. What are you attracted to most in your special someone?

 Well, first of all, he's soooo cute! I've known him since I was little and I've always thought he was the cutest thing ever.

 

But on a less superficial note... I don't know if I can pick just one thing. He's very hard-working in all areas of his life. When he does something, he does it to perfection and gives it his all. That transcends from his work and hobbies to the way the cares about and loves people. He doesn't realize it, but he's full of passion for the things and people he cares about. When he loves someone, he loves them with all he has. When he helps someone, he'll do anything he possibly can, and I know he'd do anything in the world for me. 

5. Did you know when/where he/she was going to pop the big question?

 Since we're not married, we're going to pretend that the 'big question' was when he asked me to be his girlfriend. I don't know that anyone has actually asked me before, so this made me especially giddy and 7-year-old-like. :)

I had no idea he was ready to be serious. We had both recently come out of pretty rocky relationships, so I think we both tried to take things slow. Didn't work out so well though. I think we both knew we had something pretty special, so we had to grab each other before the other one got away.

Snow Day!

I was VERY surprised that it actually snowed here in Dothan. They talked and talked and talked about it, closed schools, closed roads, declared a state of emergency, but I never really thought it would snow. Usually when they predict things like this, we shut down the place and get our hopes up all for.... nothing! So, when it actually snowed I was AMAZED.

Beginning of snow day...

I kept taking pictures of my car because I thought that since this was all the snow we were going to see, it would show up better on a dark color.

I know it's blurry, but this is Bo freaking out when he felt something hit his back. Not a fan of the white stuff.

Bella usually loves to go in the front yard because she thinks of it as her closest chances of escaping... however, like Bo, she wasn't too happy with white cold stuff on her back. This was one time in her life she was happy to go back inside.

Matthew's mini snowman...... right before he threw him in the street to see him explode.

It just kept snowing... and snowing... and snowing... and snowing... and everytime I thought it was over, it would snow some more. So, this is what we ended the day with.

I thought a pic of my mailbox covered in snow would be a fun picture... until I remembered the dead flowers at the bottom.

i'm working on it...

"To forgive is to move on, not to think about the offense anymore. You don't excuse him, endorse her, or embrace them. You just route thoughts about them through heaven. You see your enemy as God's child and revenge as God's job. "

This one is tough... especially today. I'm working on it though, because I really want to get there.

Thanks for the quote Ivy!